Still Life With Zachary Gray

The man, the myth, the legend.

My relationship with artist and photographer, Zachary Gray, goes back what feels like lifetimes now. I mention in our conversation having known each other for 10 years, but I’ve done the math and realize we met in Nashville when I was 24 years old, and he was just 20 years old. Next month I turn 37. We both now live in LA.

I’ve had the incredible pleasure of being his friend, collaborator, and cheerleader over the course of beginnings, endings, and in-betweens. He is a quiet man with a calm, composed and collected presence. Witnessing his creative vision and artistic gift never ceases to surprise and delight me — from fashion to music to commercial to portrait to event to street to interiors, oh and video, he can do it all. I’ve hinted at a book I was working on last year, and the photo above is your first peek — Zachary shot all of the imagery for it, it’s called Disarray, and it’s coming very soon (!!!).

Z, thanks for the endless inspiration and gentle nudges towards a more open-handed life. Your generous heart, wisdom and talent goes well beyond the camera. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but my memories with you are priceless.

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Transcribed, edited and condensed from our conversation on March 14, 2024.

Zachary: Hello.

Elise: Hi! I’m so excited to chat with you and feel very honored and appreciative, because this is not something you normally do. I know it’s hard to talk about yourself.

Zachary: Yes, but it’s nice to go past the threshold a little bit.

Elise: Haha, well how are you doing? What’s been going on lately?

Zachary: I’m good, I don't know what I've been doing. It's the last few weeks before things start to get crazy. I’m joining a two week tour with an artist I haven’t worked with before, which has brought lots of anticipation.

Elise: That is so cool. Congrats!

Zachary: Thanks! I don’t know anybody on the artist’s team, so it will be very different than touring with friends, but I will make new ones and it will be great.

Elise: I totally get that. But you know what life is like touring and on the road, so I’m sure once you get out there and find your groove, it’ll come naturally. You are so good at fitting in to any situation.

Zachary: I hope so, we’ll see. When I get back from that tour, I fly to Nashville to shoot with Elizabeth Suzann, then tour rehearsals with Paramore start back up, then off to Europe for the summer.

Elise: So busy, and I know you’re coming back to California to shoot our mutual friend’s wedding early this summer. Then out to Europe with Paramore for four months, opening up the Taylor Swift Era’s tour!

Zachary: Yeah, so I'm kind of in a period of just trying to get everything in order. I’ve been busy and have had lots of shoots lately, so I’m editing and trying to stay on top of it all.

Elise: I always love beginning with the question: what are you most excited about in this moment? Is there something you are most looking forward to?

Zachary: You know, I’m actually really bad at being excited about things, until it actually happens.

Elise: What do you tend to feel — is it more anxiety or hesitation?

Zachary: I definitely feel that leading up to things. I get overwhelmed a lot, but then I remind myself that everything's going to be fine once it happens. I work to get as much off my plate before the bigger projects occur.

Elise: So your excitement maybe comes in the moment, versus in the anticipation or lead up?

Zachary: Yes, that's how I am with everything. I don't know why I am that way.

Elise: Well, I do think you are so good at being present and engaged in the moment.

Zachary: I guess I have some daydreams of me just walking the streets with my little camera. It’ll be my first time in Europe, and being in situations that are not familiar excite me — trying out a new restaurant, seeing a new venue. I’m looking forward to visiting Barcelona.

Elise: Nice, I love that.

Zachary: I try to just stay composed, stay present. I have to be ready to take in or adapt with whatever is right in front of me.

Elise: Composed is such a good word to describe you.

Zachary: I like to feel like I am. So if I seem that way, then I think that's good.

Elise: Absolutely.

I can’t believe we’ve been collaborating for 10 years now…

Zachary: Yeah, maybe a little more. You kind of brought me into the fashion world, because before I was just shooting friends at my college.

Elise: So wild! One of my favorite shoot experiences with you was the first big shoot I brought you in on for Elizabeth Suzann, where Kristin Combs was modeling and we used those big cubes for the set. I also loved the photos from the shoot we did at Werthan Lofts before my very first pop-up with Wilder (captured above). I’m curious, do you have a favorite shoot that comes to mind?

Zachary: There have been so many. With a favorite shoot, it’s like: did I like the pictures that came from that shoot, or was it the experience that I loved about it? Or maybe even the process of trying a new camera. There’s so many factors.

Elise: That’s such a good point. I imagine you have different favorites for different things.

Zachary: I mean, I guess the perfect shoot has all of those things. It feels fun, everyone is collaborating and the photos turn out well.

Elise: Does that quote unquote perfect shoot happen very often?

Zachary: Not super often. I think the shoot for Paramore’s This Is Why album a couple years ago, that went pretty perfectly. There was so much preparation and planning that went into it, plus so many hands on-deck and a shot list — it was a very big production and not how I typically work.

Elise: Yeah, those photos are so incredible.

Zachary: I’m usually working on more of a smaller scale, which I also enjoy. I prefer to have the variety.

Elise: I get that. I think you have a real gift of being able to seamlessly step into whatever the situation may require of you, big or small.

Zachary: That’s nice for you to see. I do feel like that is one of my strengths.

Can you see this framed photo behind me on the wall?

Elise: Your place looks amazing! I’ve never come inside, ha!

Zachary: Well, that shoot was just me and the model, and I had the random idea of painting her yellow. I went to the beauty supply store and bought a wig. I didn’t know what exactly it was going to look like, but I had two things I wanted to try and it ended up all coming together in the studio. I still like that picture (shared below).

Elise: That’s so cool, and for you to have it framed on your wall… that’s a big deal for you!

Zachary: I know, it’s crazy.

There are some shoots where I learned a lot technically, or some shoots where I really learned how to connect with the person. It’s been so many years now, but photography is kind of like a service industry job, and also a social experiment. A lot of times you have limited interaction before this very intimate and personal thing, so you have to make sure everyone feels comfortable.

Elise: So true. Sometimes it’s just taking pictures, sometimes you are documenting or capturing a moment in time, or building out a visual story.

Zachary: It’s a very interesting profession, something I can do as a hobby and also make money with a camera. I feel very lucky to do it because it’s essentially just taking pictures.

Elise: Sure, but it’s a lot more than that too. You know I’m your biggest fan, you truly do it all. We’ve worked together on fashion shoots, studio work, interiors… and now you are touring with Paramore and other artists, documenting all of their live shows.

To me, the best photographers have a way of being present without intruding — and you do this so seamlessly and are able to capture such raw, intimate moments. How do you accomplish that?

Zachary: Sometimes I don't really know, I get so nervous before pretty much every shoot. And then something happens where, you know, you have to just do it. Everything goes back to sports with me — like track and running, for instance, I’d be so nervous before a race and then you get on the line and have to just go. Make something happen.

Elise: You have to just do it.

Zachary: That sounds more intense than it usually is, but it does kind of feel that way when I’m going into any shoot or interaction. No matter if it’s someone I know, a friend, a celebrity, a big brand or a small brand, I want to do a good job. I want to have my stamp on it and make photos that feel like both me and them. I think my whole identity is just staying out of the way, letting things happen and not trying to control the situation too much.

Elise: I’ve felt like a proud mom watching you grow and expand over the years. You are so fucking talented and just a really amazing person. You are always so open to life and possibilities, and tend to live life in receiving mode. 

Zachary: Receiving mode, that's a nice way to put it.

Elise: This is something I’ve been really trying to work towards, loosening my grip on life and opening myself up to new opportunities.

I remember back in the fall we were having a conversation with another dear friend, and started to speak on our strengths and weaknesses. The word “chameleon” comes to mind when I think of you — not like you force or mold yourself into something that isn’t authentically you — but your ability to bring something special and malleable to any situation.

Zachary: I’ve never thought about that. Sometimes it feels like I'm just lazy, you know, cause I'm not a go-getter. But I guess my strength would be being able to adapt and be comfortable in a lot of different situations.

I like to play pool a lot, and I often go out to play pool by myself and with strangers. I’m not great at showing myself who I am, so it’s easier for me to just let things happen in front of me that can then kind of shape things.

Elise: You are like a sponge — you love absorbing, observing and being around all types of people and projects. I remember talking about this recently, and you said you had an hour-long conversation with an unhoused person on the street, and it was the same week you were shooting a high-end dinner party. Being able to smoothly transition and attune to those various settings does not come naturally for many people.

Zachary: Yeah. It feels like it should, but I guess it doesn’t. I love the juxtaposition, I live in downtown LA and then will drive to West Hollywood to shoot a fancy event. I don’t always have a camera with me, I prefer to observe just to observe, taking in things without images.

Elise: I love that about you. You are never preoccupied with a camera. We can go out to dinner and you don’t even pull out your phone. These days, with social media and everything else constantly competing for our attention, it can be such a distraction. And with you, there is such intentionality — you can show up and give fully to whatever situation you may find yourself in.

Zachary: I like to keep things internal. Even some of my favorite pictures that I’ve ever taken, no one’s ever seen. I don’t really have the urge to share. I think I’m a little selfish when it comes to work, which is tricky because I understand it is also my career. It’s hard for me to be outward with a lot of things, not just pictures, you know, but in life.

Elise: I get it, and you are a true artist. It’s your career, how you make a living, but it’s also your art. And that’s sacred.

I’m so touched that you said yes to this interview with me, because I know that you are very private. I don’t think selfish is the right word, maybe protective at times. But I like that you protect your art and your craft, keeping it meaningful for yourself. What is one thing others would find surprising to learn about you?

Zachary: I’m a very simple person. I don’t know, I like to play chess a lot. I’m trying to find people to play in person with.

Elise: Do you have the patience to teach me? I’d love to learn and play together!

Zachary: Oh, I can teach you.

Elise: Dan and I got into backgammon during the pandemic. I still enjoy playing that from time to time.

Zachary: You can teach me that. I don't know how to play.

Elise: Perfect. What else?

Zachary: I think I can come across as being very interesting, but I’m very, very simple. I like kind of normal things. I like furniture, I like art, playing pool. I’ve been going to a Trivia Night every other Tuesday.

Elise: Are you good at it?

Zachary: It's hard! I feel like no one's really good, it’s all about getting enough people together who know certain, different things. I wouldn’t say I’m good, but I have categories that I know a lot about — anything sports-related or on the music side. I don’t know any movies. I don’t think I watched more than five movies all of last year.

Elise: No way! Do you not enjoy movies?

Zachary: I do love movies, I used to watch a lot more. I don't have a TV anymore, and I know I could get one and all of the subscriptions. Maybe it’s just from being on my screen all the time in other ways, but I feel like I’m seeing enough.

Elise: Let’s talk more about sports. You’ve been an athlete for so long and had a full scholarship to university for track. Tell me about what that was like growing up, and how it influences your life and work? Did you think that athletics would be your path professionally?

Zachary: I was in sports since a very young age, but art was always in there. I remember I won some small competitions for painting in kindergarten and first grade. I loved art, but once I got into sports, it kind of took over. I focused all my energy on that and it wasn’t until high school, my senior year, I took a drawing class.

I had a really cool teacher, and the final assignment was to draw a portrait. I drew a very realistic portrait of Michael Jackson. I remember thinking wow, I hadn’t drawn in so long and was able to still do that.

Elise: Amazing, I want to see!

Zachary: Yeah, and then I got a scholarship and felt like I had these two worlds — my art friends and my sports friends, and they never really overlapped. Even today I feel like I can identify with being an athlete more.

Elise: What makes you say that?

Zachary: Just with my instincts and the way I go about things. I’m still pretty active, and have been playing pickle ball with a bunch of friends recently. That’s also why I like chess and trivia. The competition is fun, because I don’t have that “try and beat someone at something” thing anymore.

It seems like the two worlds are always kind of separate, but I like both things and it’s okay to do both… and to keep that side of me alive, in a way.

Elise: That’s so important, and I love the word alive. At what hour of the day do you feel most alive, and do you have any rituals that support and encourage that time?

Zachary: Definitely morning. Early, early morning. I don't have any curtains in my place because I just love to get blasted by the sun. I usually burn some incense and then make coffee. I recently got a moka pot, I think it’s Italian. You put the coffee grounds in the bottom and it pours from the top.

Elise: Oh yes, that’s so romantic!

Zachary: And I got a guitar recently, so I’ve been messing around and practicing that a little bit.

Elise: I didn’t know that! Have you played before?

Zachary: I’ve known a few chords but have never owned a guitar. It’s been fun, and also very humbling. At this point in my life, now thirty-two, it feels nice to just go in on something as a beginner. I don’t want to be in a band or anything, I just want to be a bedroom musician.

Elise: Haha! I think it’s so important to have hobbies — things that are kind of just for ourselves. It can help to feed and sustain us in a different way, you know?

Zachary: Yeah, it’s crazy to see myself getting better at something with practice. I haven’t really felt that in a long time, actually.

Elise: That surprises me. In recent years with your photography work, you’ve started touring and shooting more live shows. Do you feel like you’ve been able to hone your craft in a new way, and see yourself get better?

Zachary: That’s true, I definitely have gotten better with that. But I guess guitar is different because it's just for me. The other stuff is for me in a way, but for other purposes, too. It’s harder for me to notice and feel. With touring, I’d never done anything like that. I don’t think I could actually look back at some of the first shows I shot, because it’s so bad.

Elise: Your idea of bad is probably very good to most.

Zachary: I don’t know, it was pretty rough. But I definitely got better.

Elise: How does the creative process differ when shooting performances versus real life versus brand work?

Zachary: I try to approach it all in the same way. I mean, there's times when I feel like I’m in robot mode, just pushing a button. I was doing a shoot on Friday and remember a distinct moment I had to pause. Yes, he needs these press shots, but I need to stick to whatever my vision is too. I have to remind myself to show my own point of view. Even at a concert, so many people are shooting this exact same thing. How can I come at it a little differently?

Elise: I’ve been around you on the road, and it’s so cool to see how much you move around and make yourself like a fly on the wall.

Zachary: Yeah, I think it helps me to stay active and keep looking. Keep trying different things and finding different perspectives.

Elise: I love that. Do you have any advice for aspiring photographers? Or something you wish you would have known?

Zachary: I think what has helped me is saying yes to everything. Literally everything, even still. I’m shooting a wedding in a couple months, and last month I shot a 50-year-old’s birthday party for someone I didn’t even know. I think everything kind of sharpens the tools in a different way.

I didn’t want to shoot the birthday party, but then I got there and it was a cool experience. I don’t want to limit myself or hold back in any way. If you want to do photography, do photography. I feel like I just kind of fell into every job situation. It just kind of happened.

Elise: It happened because you were proactive about saying yes, showing up, and delivering — time after time. It makes me emotional hearing you talk, and I feel really inspired by your words. I’ve been struggling with some work stuff, running into a lot of dead ends. My ego can really hold me back sometimes, and it’s humbling to talk with you in this way. You have such a healthy perspective and an openness to life, with self-assurance yet no sense of ego at all.

Zachary: Well, it's definitely been very hard for me. I think just allowing yourself to be in different situations and staying open, whatever or wherever that may be… you never know what might come of it.

Elise: I agree. Maybe one thing leads to the next, maybe you meet someone that becomes a close friend, or maybe sometimes it’s just something to help keep the lights on (literally or figuratively).

Zachary: Exactly. I’ve had times when there was only $300 in my bank account. I don’t have a credit card or anything, so I didn’t know how I was gonna do it. But then, all of these shoots come in back-to-back, and I know things will be fine. It’s a wave, and I’m good right now. I’m just lucky and always grateful for where I’m at.

Elise: Oh, the life of a freelancer! Ha! I relate to this so much. It’s incredibly up and down.

Zachary: Yeah, we have this high and low with everything.

Elise: Was there a shoot, or a moment, or a season that you really started believing in yourself and feel like you came into your own with your work?

Zachary: Hmm. I think I’ve gotten more confident every day, but living in Nashville really allowed me to hone in on what I was trying to do and find my point of view. I couldn’t have done that in the same way living in LA. Nashville gave me a freedom to be creative, to rent a studio for cheap, to collaborate with so many people. Being there for almost ten years helped to equip me and build a foundation for success out here.

Elise: I connect to that. Having grown up in Nashville, I have a more pessimistic, layered relationship with it, but I do resonate with that at my core. In terms of who I am today, what I do, and what I have to offer — I think Nashville and its supportive, talented creative community played a monumental part in it.

Zachary: There was a period of my 20s where I felt more loose with everything, throwing things at the wall. Now I want to get back to that kind of mindset again. I remember I had a Snapchat and would do these daily little things, like pick the color yellow, and then post anything I saw that was yellow that day. No one really even followed my Snapchat, but it felt fulfilling for me.

Elise: Yeah, you were experimenting more.

Zachary: I would like to get back to that. But maybe I won’t, cause that was my twenties. It’s different now, but I think about that time a lot. All the shoots we did together, all of that was building.

Elise: You mentioned the word success, and I’d love to know: what does success mean to you?

Zachary: I want to say success for me is just being comfortable. But I don’t know, I think success is different checkpoints — little moments — where you realize, wow that was really special. Then you know you’ll carry on, and then there’s maybe another moment. It’s not about arriving at a certain place, I would just like to continue to have lots of special moments and interactions, and be proud of whatever I’m doing, whether that’s work or not. One thing at a time.

Elise: Thank you for your wisdom and insight, Zachary. I have cherished our time together. I read these words earlier this morning (by Beau Taplin from his book of poetry called Here at Dawn), that feel like a kindred place to close:

“Perhaps you are not yet where you ‘feel’ you should be, but from one dreamer to another, a careful word of advice.

You could reach every last one of your goals and still find yourself unfulfilled at the finishing line.

The true essence of life exists in the between. It is in the striving that your excellence is exposed to the world. It is in the setbacks that the strength of your spirit is learned.

In the unfinished dream lies the full and burning heart of life. It is only a spell of the mind, an artful deception, that you might find fulfillment in fame, fortune, or power.

Life is lived here. In the distance you have still left to travel. This is where the true magic happens.”

Zachary: So true. Thank you! It’s been good to think about these things. A nice reset.

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Still Life, refers to the notion of “stillness” — quieting the noise and seeking to capture a glimpse into this very moment in time. This bimonthly series is a conversation between Elise and various creatives. View past publications here.

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Credits: Photos of Zachary captured by Zac Farro. All other photos are by Zachary Gray, including an iPhone snap of his Los Angeles apartment.