Still Life With Stephanie Cleary

Navigating from chaos to creativity.

Stephanie Cleary has helped frame my idea of home, in more ways than one. When we were looking for a place to live in Los Angeles, she and her husband Scott saw a rental sign go up by our (now) house while on a walk with their kids in the neighborhood. They did a virtual tour for us — and a month later — we moved in and decorated our space with pieces from her beautiful textile company, Morrow Soft Goods. As Co-Founder and Creative Director, Stef marries thoughtful design with earthy, calming tones and textured, natural fibers. Below, we chat about living amidst a construction zone, motherhood, entrepreneurship and Korean comfort food.

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Transcribed, edited and condensed from our conversation on April 18, 2023.

Elise: Just this morning I was telling Dan how fun it is to interview a friend, because I feel like there is a lot that I still don’t know about you. Our relationship started long distance (maybe 7 years ago?) through our mutual friend Zac, and now we finally live in the same city! I’m so excited to talk with you, thank you for being willing to do this.

Stephanie: Oh my gosh, thanks for having me. I’m excited.

Elise: I feel like home has been such a big, overarching theme of your last several years. There's been a lot of transition with moving and a major renovation. I’m curious, what is your favorite thing about your home now? 

Stephanie: My favorite thing about our home is that it finally feels warm and inviting. My partner Scott and I are people that love to host, and this home represents us a bit more in that way.

Elise: Would you say that’s because of the actual house, the layout, the design, or just how you feel there in general?

Stephanie: I think all of it. This is a house where we can really grow, where the kids can grow. It’s also the colors and textures, like the wood doors and Noguchi lamps for example. We wanted to make sure that the house was personable and playful, so we framed all of the kids’ artwork. We’re kind of just going for it, for once!

Elise: I see that, it truly feels like you.

Stephanie: I love it — I’m just going to be me and not hold back this time around, and that feels really good.

Elise: What space do you find yourself most drawn to? 

Stephanie: Our breakfast nook. We always gravitate to it when we have friends over, family meals, or when the kids come home after school and paint or do homework. It’s the heart of the house, where we all gather.

Elise: It’s the best — definitely my favorite space in the house, too! It’s such a vibe with the built-in bench and big window, and then the bifold doors that lead to the backyard. When the sun is setting, it is especially magical.

Stephanie: Thanks. I love that we have that flow and easy access to nature. When I get stressed out, I take my shoes off and put my feet in the weeds.

Elise: Grounding, I love that. I’m so happy that you all are finally feeling settled — I know it’s been a long journey to get there. When Dan and I bought our fixer upper in Nashville, our friends thought we were crazy. It was such a big undertaking. An old lady had lived there since the ‘50s and there was a hospital bed in the bedroom. It was sad, weird vibes at first.

Stephanie: Haha, I didn't know that. 

Elise: Did you have the vision right away when you saw the house, or did it unfold more as you went along? Were there specific things you were looking for when house hunting?

Stephanie: I think it was both. Our old spot was great, but if the kids were in the backyard, I was never able to see them. I wanted a kitchen that opened to the back so we could all go in and out, and where I could see them while washing dishes or having coffee. When we were looking for a new place, I made sure that we could create a more open flow and not deal with as many barriers.

When we first walked into this house, I could see it. And it had fallen out of escrow twice, so I was hopeful we could afford it and not have a crazy bidding war. For Scott, it was harder to see the vision. He thought it was a little nuts.

Elise: Ha, so it was just you that had the vision!

Stephanie: I didn’t know for sure if we could knock out all of the walls to the back — obviously you never really know until you start opening things up. I wanted to see the big grapefruit tree from the front door. I asked my friend Hisako from Bunch Design if she thought it would be possible. If she didn’t think it would work, we were not going to put an offer on the house. She was great and helped design the breakfast nook and back area for us.

See some of their renovation process on Instagram @cleary_remodel.

Elise: That totally transformed the house! How did you survive such a major renovation with two little boys, and no kitchen? You all lived there while renovating.

Stephanie: It was absolutely bonkers. There's no way we could have done it without living in the house, since that adds such an extra expense, but it was hard. Weirdly, the kids made it easier for us — they thought it was so cool. We were making all of our meals with a camping stove, and they were so happy. We had a plastic wall up dividing the spaces, and raccoons or skunks would come right up to it, which they thought was hilarious. It definitely felt like camping!

Elise: I imagine it was so fun for them to be in the middle of a big construction zone, getting to see all the work being done.

Stephanie: It was an adventure! I feel like it even helped with Frankie — he was a Covid baby, so getting to interact with different people on a day-to-day basis transformed his personality. They were having the time of their lives.

Elise: Did you have any rituals as a family during that time? Did you spend a lot of time outside?

Stephanie: We had no TV and nowhere to really sit. I only sat in our bedroom or small makeshift kitchen. We always ate dinners outside — even if it was cold in like 40 degree weather. We had dinners outside by candlelight, because we didn’t have any power out there. We did that every night for six months, bundled up in our parkas.

Elise: Speaking of parkas… haha. I’ll never forget when I first moved out here, in September, and we met up for coffee. It was a gorgeous day and I think I was wearing a tank top, and you showed up in a huge, puffy parka. I mean it does get chilly here at night, but you are definitely from LA. I remember it was 75 degrees and perfect!

Stephanie: 75 degrees in the shade is freezing.

Elise: That is my favorite memory of you. I can still see you walking up to greet me in that jacket. I loved it.

Anyway, I’m just so inspired by you. I don't know how you manage everything — being a mother, business owner, gardener, fantastic cook! You make it look easy, but I know that it’s not. What does balance mean to you? How do you best take care of yourself?

Stephanie: Thank you. It’s always evolving and changing. I had really bad self-care last year — 2022 kind of broke me in that way. So this year, I’m thinking about little steps I can take, even just the simplest things like washing my face every single day, or showering on a regular basis. Finding moments to do gua sha once a week or drinking magnesium and chamomile tea before bed help to create a sense of ritual and calm. I keep a mindfulness book beside my bed and try to read for five or ten minutes a day. Nothing crazy.

Elise: You are such a good cook and I've had so many delicious meals at your place! Your Korean barbecue, oh my god. Do you have a meal that feels the most like home to you?

Stephanie: I love making basic Korean steamed eggs. I use one egg and then about half of the shell full of water — it’s such a simple thing. I pair it with seaweed and rice, my go-to when feeling overwhelmed or craving a sense of comfort.

Traditional Korean food is probably what brings me the most happiness. It’s so cool for me to see the kids and Scott loving it, too — he’d never had Korean food before he met me. Korean Eggs have become our family’s favorite when we feel like we need nourishment and relief.

Elise: That makes so much sense. I can always feel the care and intention you put into your cooking, and know that it’s something you really value. Where does your love of food and sharing meals with people come from?

Stephanie: I think from my mom, and also Korean culture. In my family, no one really says I love you, so food is the best way to express that love. When my family was getting to know Scott, my mom didn’t want to cook for him. But as she got to know him, it was awesome because she started cooking for him and his friends, making ribs and stealing meat off of their plates. There’s a bit of a language barrier there, so they can’t always communicate perfectly, but she knows how to communicate with food. She makes it feel really loving.

We all went to Korea together, and it’s the same way. I don’t have the best Korean skills but when we are all gathered as a family around the table, it’s like, Oh, did you eat enough? Do you want some more? Here. What else can we get you?

It centers around food. Every time my mom comes over, she goes to Costco and brings meat, eggs and fruit. I learned it from her. Hospitality has always been important to us, she would volunteer at church and invite people to our house to serve them with food. 

Elise: Would you say that you also express your love for people through food?

Stephanie: If you asked me that before, I probably would have said, oh I don't know. But as I’m thinking about it more deeply, yes, absolutely. Ozzy’s having his sixth birthday party this weekend and I'm cooking Korean ribs.

Elise: And you’re passing down that same love and connection, which is so special. I love hearing you speak to the boys in Korean. What words do you find yourself using the most with them?

Stephanie: I use the word ttogttoghan (똑똑한) a lot, which means smart. I love the way that it sounds.

We are trying to build the kids up and encourage them to be open-minded, while hopefully learning another language. At first Ozzy was all about it, but not as much lately. I’ve been teaching him more formal Korean (instead of conversational), so that he is able to speak properly to adults and still gain respect, especially when we visit Korea.

I do a lot of manners, but most of the time it’s about food — jom deo gajil su iss-eulkkayo (좀 더 가질 수 있을까요) is may I have some more please. Subag (수박) is watermelon, mul (물) is water and halmeoni (할머니) is grandmother. To be honest, he probably knows the most vocabulary about animals and food.

Elise: So cool! Do you mainly incorporate words here and there, or are you trying to speak to them in full-on Korean sentences? 

Stephanie: It’s kind of both, and really depends on the moment. If it’s one on one, I definitely speak phrases to them in Korean. When I walk with Ozzy the ten minutes home from his school, it’s all Korean from beginning to end. He’s understanding more that way. With Frankie, it’s a bit harder and he is more resistant. He’s almost 3 and was learning Spanish at daycare, then English and Korean at home.

Elise: That’s a lot for a 3-year-old, I’m sure!

Stephanie: Exactly. I think he gets frustrated sometimes, so with him I use words — typically whatever he needs in the moment. So if he’s asking for watermelon I’ll be like oh, subag (수박), and if he’s asking for seaweed, I’ll say gim (김).

Elise: Are there Korean traditions that you hope to pass down to your boys?

Stephanie: New Year's Day is one of my favorite Korean holidays. I never went out on New Year's Eve until I was like, maybe 21… I just didn't realize that it was a thing.

On New Year’s Day, we wake up really early and have a super simple breakfast, or it could be lunch. We have things like little rice cakes in a soup — with broth, eggs, seaweed and green onion. It’s the first new meal that we share together. Then, everyone gathers in a circle with the elders sitting in the front, and bows to the parents or grandparents with a blessing. We wish each other a great year, and the elders give out a red envelope with cash inside.

It’s really nice to see all the little kids doing it, like Ozzy and Frankie, and all of us doing it to our parents. It’s a huge sign of respect in our culture. Afterwards, we play games — Chinese games, Korean games, it’s so much fun.

Elise: And you're doing all of that on the morning of New Year's Day?

Stephanie: Pretty much from about 10:00am to 4:00pm, with my brothers and their families and my mom. We all meet at my mom's house and it is a whole day event. When I was really little, I would dress up in the hanbok (한복, 韓服), the traditional Korean outfit. My kids wear it now too, and they think it’s hilarious. It’s a few different layers and a hat.

Elise: I think you showed me a picture last year of the boys! The cutest. Do you have a photo of yourself as a child all dressed up?

Stephanie: I think so! I loved it, and my mom was a lot more traditional back then. Since I wasn’t married yet, she would give me one long braid in the back which symbolized that I was single, with a big red dot on my forehead from lipstick.

Elise: I have got to see little Stef! So sweet.

I want to talk more about your work history and what it’s like owning a business. I know you have a background in fashion. I’m curious, now that you’re in the home space, what has been the most difficult transition — and the smoothest? Are there a lot of similarities?

Stephanie: I think the hardest thing was that I thought there would be way more similarities. I thought that I could use all of my resources.

In fashion, I worked with a lot of factories and laundries and whatnot in LA, so I figured I’d be able to use all the same facilities for my home brand. I couldn’t use a single one.

Elise: Because they were clothing-specific?

Stephanie: Yes! A cutting table is usually the width of the fabric — for clothing that’s usually a maximum of around 60 inches. For bedding, you need at least 120 inches. It made things complicated and really kind of shook me in the beginning.

I had to Google a lot of things. It was funny because my background in fashion was so technical, and I just assumed I would know all of the right terms for bedding, but it was a huge learning curve. I thought it would be so much easier.

Elise: Can you talk a little bit more about what you did in the fashion world before Morrow? 

Stephanie: A little bit of everything. I started off doing runway and then moved to premium denim. My first internship was at Rock & Republic with Victoria Beckham jeans, like the crowns and crystals on the back pocket and all that.

Elise: Wow! I did not know this.

Stephanie: Yeah, I was so grateful to be there. As I was tiptoeing further and further into fashion, I loved all of the different fabrics and the technical side of how denim is made. The different textures, washing techniques and so on. Even though denim may seem like the most basic thing, there is so much that can go wrong! There are so many things you can do to change and manipulate what the garment is going to look like. I loved that aspect of it!

Elise: Totally, that’s so fascinating. I’m not sure if you know this, but I worked with imogene + willie in Nashville for several years. It was such a fun job and I learned a ton about denim. It’s crazy what goes into the process, and how harsh indigo dyeing for jeans can be. We had someone in-house who did all the distressing by hand. There’s so much care that goes into it.

What inspired your next move? Had you been dreaming of having a home goods line for awhile?

Stephanie: Not at all. It’s not the most professional answer, but my (now) business partner Michelle Toney and I were at her place, just kind of talking about where we were at in our lives. Scott and I had just bought our first home and kept asking, where do we buy things? I have the kind of personality that likes to be different, so I didn’t really want to just go to IKEA and Target. This was 2014, so there weren’t all of the home brands that we know today. I remember someone telling me to go to Macy’s. I don’t want to buy sheets at Macy’s!

Anyway, I was telling Michelle that my love for fashion felt like it had faded. I still personally love fashion, but designing became about how many more units can we make, how can we bring the cost down. It felt like we were cheapening the product and that was hard for me. I want things that last.

Elise: It wasn’t aligning with your values anymore. 

Stephanie: Absolutely, it just wasn’t aligning with my beliefs and values. Michelle is an architect and was feeling the same way. We were talking about home things and what we were looking for, and Michelle’s husband James was like, why don’t we all do a home business? If that’s what we keep talking about, we should do it. All of a sudden, we were meeting every couple of weeks — while we still had full-time jobs — and then every week, every couple of nights, and finally, we launched the company.

Elise: So that’s how it came to be. What year did you officially launch? 

Stephanie: We launched in 2016, after working on it for two years before that.

Elise: Incredible, I’m so impressed. I know you occasionally outsource photography, but you primarily do all the shooting yourself for Morrow. You’re a very creative person, I mean what can’t you do?!

Stephanie: I had never shot before, so it was definitely not something we planned on from the beginning. We were lucky enough to have a lot of friends who helped us out with product shots early on. Once I realized we were spending $1000 here, $1000 there, I thought, wait a minute. I looked into buying a camera and saw it would cost around $2000, so it made sense to save the money and do it ourselves. I didn’t really know what I was doing, but I’m a very scrappy person. My mom was a single mom, and we didn’t have a lot of funds or resources growing up. If I wanted new clothes, I got my neighbor’s hand-me-downs, and then would do something creative to reinvent or vamp them up a bit.

Elise: To make them your own!

Stephanie: Yes, I did that a lot. I think for anything with Morrow, if it’s a higher price point, I try to learn how to do it. With photography, I was so embarrassed at first. Even you complimenting my photos now, it puts the biggest smile on my face. I still get nervous even though I have been taking the photos for around 6 years now. I’ve gotten better but could still improve so much more. We’re a small company and have to be scrappy, we don’t always have the resources we need.

Elise: That makes sense! I think people would be shocked to look at your website and Instagram, seeing how stunning your imagery is, and to learn that you had no prior experience and just taught yourself. You’re a natural.

Is there anything from your past that ended up serving you well with Morrow, besides your obvious, enviable scrappiness?

Stephanie: I was lucky enough to work in fashion for so long that it all just kind of came together. I can take a lot of my fashion design sense and creativity and bring it over into the home world. I didn’t want white sheets, or even some of the beige and grey colors — those are colors I don’t personally wear. So for me, I wanted to bring in terracotta, different shades of green… lots of earth tones. I couldn’t really find that anywhere else at the time.

Elise: Morrow has such an amazing palette. I love your sense of color and how you all pair things in unexpected ways.

Is there a certain time of day that you feel the most inspired or creative?

Stephanie: I usually feel most creative around 2:00 in the afternoon, but it’s the worst time for me. I have to pick my kid up from school at 2:30pm!

Elise: So you're always having to rush your creative time?

Stephanie: Yeah, in the morning I’m just trying to figure out the day and what I need to focus on. It’s hard for me to wake up mentally, so I do the easiest things then. I spend an hour or two going through emails and making a list. The afternoon feels more free and creative once my brain fully wakes up, and then I’m scrambling. I usually organize again at night so I have some clarity of my priorities for the next day.

Elise: Would the younger you be surprised by anything in your life today?

Stephanie: I think kids is a big one.

Elise: Were you unsure if you wanted to have kids?

Stephanie: I wanted to have kids, I just thought I’d have them later in life. I know I’ve talked to you personally about how I was told by several doctors that I wouldn’t be able to have children naturally, or on the timeline that I had hoped. So I stopped using contraception and about six months later, I got pregnant. It was shocking — I imagined it later down the road, like five years or so. I think I wanted to be a bit selfish for awhile, so it was really hard for my identity.

I was 30 when I had Ozzy. I’m beyond grateful because it is the best thing that ever happened to me, but I had just gone to four different doctors who all said the same thing, so I never expected that would happen.

Elise: Wow.

Stephanie: Other things that would surprise me are this home, and that I’m an entrepreneur. I feel so lucky we have this house. Growing up, I saw my mom have so many businesses, a pizza shop, a liquor store. I think I wanted to be an entrepreneur but was scared.

Elise: You didn’t believe in yourself?

Stephanie: I didn’t. I knew I wanted to do it, but never thought I could in the way that I have now. I used to make handbags in high school, or band t-shirts for my friends with spray paint, anything for extra cash. Michelle and I both came from such broken work backgrounds and wanted to create a safe environment, with all the little perks we have now. I can’t believe we have five employees. That blows my mind.

Elise: Five! I’m so proud of you. And I’m very grateful that you’re an entrepreneur, putting all your creative visions out into the world — they personally add so much joy, functionality and meaning to my home!

Stephanie: Thank you for that.

Elise: What books, articles, music, film, podcasts are you finding nourishing and inspiring these days? You mentioned a mindfulness book by your bedside.

Stephanie: It’s The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh— I have the UK version because I don’t like the American cover colors, haha. I’ll randomly open it and read a couple paragraphs. I find so much inspiration and joy from it.

And music-wise, I listen to a lot of instrumental music.

Elise: Me too! It’s so nice because it can kind of set a tone but not be too busy or distracting.

Stephanie: Totally. It makes me happy and gives me good vibes.

Elise: Are you listening to like classical music, piano instrumental or more ambient stuff?

Stephanie: It depends. If I’m feeling sad I’ll listen to The Köln Concert by Keith Jarrett. It’s an incredible story from 1975 — Keith was a perfectionist and had the wrong piano for his live performance.

A young girl had persuaded him (he was already a big star at the time) to come to Cologne, Germany and play at the opera house. She was ambitious but did not have the skills or experience. The piano ended up being a rehearsal model piano, and not a grand piano. It was storming that night. The keys were sticking, the pedals didn’t work. She begged and convinced Keith to still play, and it became his most famous concert. It was completely improvised, and it is the best-selling solo piano album of all time.

Referenced from TED Radio Hour, Tim Harford: How Can Chaos Lead To Creative Breakthroughs?

Elise: Wow, that’s quite a story.

Stephanie: I actually was listening to it this morning. It makes me want to cry, in the best way. If I’m overwhelmed or need a pick-me-up I’ll put it on. I also love African or Middle Eastern instrumental music — something more upbeat and kind of funky.

Elise: That makes me think of our friend Zac’s playlists — he makes some really good ones in that realm.

Ugh, I just love the story of that Köln album, it gave me chills hearing you talk about it. It reminds me of you a bit, too — having the odds stacked against you, then becoming an entrepreneur with a successful home brand; a background in fashion. You thought you may not be able to have kids, and now you have this beautiful family. Life is still hard of course, but it’s also full and rich, and you’ve created that for yourself. It’s a beautiful analogy.

Stephanie: Ah, thanks. You had sent over some questions and themes before our conversation, and one of them asked something like what is one thing that others would find surprising to learn about you? I feel like I’m living in a mad chaotic world in my head, and no one really sees it. You just summed it up better than I could, and I do feel like that record just, I don’t know, it’s me. Most people seem to think I have it all together, when really it’s just pure madness around here. So yeah, when I listen to that, I feel so much calm. I’m not usually able to express my emotions in the way that I want to, and this album helps me do it.

Elise: I love your madness. I hope you can recognize that amidst all the chaos, there is so much beauty. Go easy on yourself because you’re doing a great job!

Stephanie: Totally. Whenever I talk to you, it's like therapy. I have the biggest smile on my face.

Elise: I appreciate that so much. I feel the same way about you, it’s such a pleasure to have these conversations. Thank you for being a part of it with me.

Stephanie: Of course, now can we do you? I want to ask you all of these same questions.

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Still Life, refers to the notion of “stillness” — quieting the noise and seeking to capture a glimpse into this very moment in time. This bimonthly series is a conversation between Elise and various creatives. View past publications here.

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Credits: Portrait, breakfast nook and Ozzy’s art photos by Ye Rin Mok. Steamed eggs by Kate Sears for The New York Times. All other images by Stephanie Cleary for Morrow.