LA is a funny place. I have strangely never felt more free to be my whole self. My true creative self. My most expressive self. My most curious self. My best self. Even my worst self. My grimy, haven’t-showered-all-week self. My ragey angry self. My bare rosacea face self. My loafing around, depressed self. I joked with a friend the other day that the only person I would be embarrassed to see in such disarray would be my ex-boyfriend.
We laughed, but it’s not untrue.
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In two+ years of living here, I’ve recognized that no other place has made me feel so good being my best, or so good being my worst. Does that even make sense? Maybe it is partly the freedom and nonchalance that can come with getting older, too. 36-year-old-LA-me will happily blast Olivia Rodrigo’s “all-american bitch” from my car speakers with the windows down at a busy stoplight. 32-year-old-Nashville-me would abso-fuckin’-lutely reach for the volume knob as quickly as possible. That wasn’t even that long ago!
These days, I drive my mom’s old car that was once my aunt’s new car — a 2000 off-white Lexus ES sedan with custom floral carpet mats. It’s still in pristine condition. The young guys at Valvoline were freaking out over it the other day. I guess a grandma car is considered cool now, and I was delighted to feel their admiration but for a fleeting moment.
Sometimes I want to be the unfazed woman that can walk into Erewhon and spend $20 on a strawberry “glaze skin” smoothie without batting an eyelash. I glance around at all the beautiful flora, the beautiful buildings, the beautiful people.
There are so. many. beautiful. people.
Dan and I recently watched the Beckham documentary series on Netflix. Fun fact, Hugo from Succession did it. I hadn’t realized that he is also an accomplished writer and director. Which leads me to another rumination… everyone I meet here seems to be involved in so many notable projects. Career projects, passion projects, renovation projects, family projects. All the projects. It’s at once exhausting and wonderfully motivating. But back to Beckham, he was just so ridiculously good looking, it almost feels unfair. As we watched him; sweaty and shirtless running across the field, or charmingly teasing Posh, or tidying his already pristine kitchen; I started to get the hype. People call him a GOAT, but I prefer GLOAT: my recently-coined term for Greatest Looking of All Time. Trademark pending.
Nowadays, it’s starting to feel different when I look in the mirror. I begrudgingly pluck a coarse black chin hair. How did this happen? I slather my face in oil and pray to the gua sha gods to lift and define my maturing skin. I optimistically rub clay over my body to remove all the toxins. It’s mental gymnastics being a woman. The contradictory pressures from society, the unjust rules imposed from our government, the unrealistic, unattainable beauty standards. The one damned chin hair.
Another nice thing about LA is the weed. And the people that sell the weed — special shoutout to Cornerstone Wellness. While we’re here, shoutout to the very best dentist in Glendale (thanks Laure), shoutout to the guy with the parrot at the donut shop. Shoutout to the mattresses on every curb, the relentless helicopters overhead, the old woman selling brightly colored roses by the stop sign. LA is a hot mess and a shit show and I love it.
I’m a hot mess and a shit show, too.
I’ve discovered some of the greatest parts of myself here. The wild, messy, potent and brave parts. Or should I say… the GLOAT™ parts.
Thank you, LA.
*lipstick kiss*
Elise
NOTEWORTHY
—I’m hosting an intimate dinner with Wiley Canning Company and Chef Chloe Walsh at my home in LA later this month. There are two tickets left, and I’d love for you to join us.
—A very nice color I can’t stop thinking about.
—A Weekend In Los Angeles. Travel tips from Todd Nickey and Amy Kehoe for Cabana Magazine.
PLEASURE
Some of my current favorite things in LA include the sweet potato massaman curry at Night + Market Song, the arts annex at Skylight Books, a solo walk around the Silver Lake Reservoir, the farmer’s market flowers at Cookbook, and the oat chai on tap at Canyon Coffee.
My indulgent bath go-to when I’m in need of some extra TLC.
The best food-related LA recommendation newsletter comes from Kate at Bite Sized.
CONTEMPLATING
Every Home David and Victoria Beckham Have Owned Throughout Their Marriage. Including the iconic Beckingham Palace.
Why You Should Make Time for Oddball Rituals. Dan and I become pen pals whenever we travel apart from the other, we’ve named our ceremonial neighborhood walk Coyote City, and we play "Don’t Stop Believin’" every year on Otto’s birthday.
These are Sofia Coppola's Favourite Movies. My watchlist just got a lot longer, and now I know what I’ll be doing over the holidays.
Photo Credit: Charlotte Lapalus.
This might be my favorite thing that you've ever written. Love you big, my girl.